Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shellee]

My story started 2 years ago with my beautiful alcoholic partner. I love this soul with all my heart but his drinking has made me something I don’t want to be, I didn’t even see it coming, I realised things weren’t right but instead of seeing that I needed to stop trying to make him change for me I kept pushing him, things have exploded now and I only hope I can find the strength to be a better person for myself first and then us, I’m terrified I will fail. Im so scared for us, we are apart at this time, it’s probably what we need but it’s so damn difficult. I thought I was going ok yesterday and then I crashed again and it was a bad space for me, I had irrational thoughts about how to see him and I had to call on my friends to talk me back to normal, they did me I love them. God give me all the strength, love, courage and wisdom to do what I need to do to be with the man I love and accept we both have flaws. I will work on my destructive behaviours and hopefully he can work on his alcohol journey, we can’t do it together without supporting each other and offering unbiased support. Thanks for allowing me to vent 

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @Shellee, thank you for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you have a lot of hope for change for you and your partner. 

It sounds like you and your partner are having some time apart, which can be a big change. I'm glad you've been able to call on your friends for support ❤️ 

How are you feeling this evening? 

Sending you lots of strength, courage and wisdom,

TuxedoCat ❤️ 

[Shellee]

Thank you.

My day started awfully as I am so worried about his emotional well being. My anxiety was through the roof. I was again lucky enough to spend sometime with one of our mutual friends who I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for. She had been in contact with him, she and I chatted for 3 hours today and she has lifted my spirits. My partner also reached out to my dearest friend to ask her to tell me he is seeing my stories on fb but he can’t respond, he will not break the rules of the order and never would I want him to, I just want him to know he is on my mind, he is ok and In temporary accomodation until our court date next week. I feel better that he has made the effort to reach out to my friend. My counselling journey is starting tomorrow, I will be having so many sessions to work through all the trauma I have experienced in my life from alcoholic father and sister who passed away too young from alcohol abuse. I carried all this baggage into our relationship, I was not aware he was an alcoholic until at least 6 months into our relationship. Too late though, we were both head over heels in love with each other very early on, I know I never want another man, and he always tells me “it should have always been you” it took a lifetime to find my perfect man, I don’t want our pasts to take this away from us. 
Thank you for reaching out, I need a village at the moment😊