Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[cheersquad]

Hi all, This post is a vent thought some of you may understand. My husband has Anxiety, OCD and depression and overall is doing really good he works and manages his own health. In saying that on the weekend he had an escalation his anxiety is high due to stress at work and he went on an all night self destructive drinking episode and also drove my parents car drunk. He is lucky that no damage was done. I find these escalations so hard as he doesn't tell me where he is going and usualky lies early on. It's always when I'm out having a good time. It really feels like punishment. I know rationally it's not but it feels that way. I struggle with the behaviour at the time but find the depressive state afterwards even more difficult. I know this is temporary but right now I'm angry. Because he is well and life is good we are supposed to be actively trying for family. I'm not getting any younger and it's taken too long. It's another month lost because of another escalation. I know this is temporary and he doesn't do this often but feel so hurt that he can't focus on us. I realise we are lucky because there are people much worse off just struggling tonight. Thanks for listening.
Cheersquad

[Louise]

Sorry to hear you've been struggling. I think your husband is lucky to have you, because you understand a  lot about his anxiety and you care about his health. I hope he can learn some less destructive ways of managing his stress. Maybe meditation or a walk or listening to music or a hobby? Is there something like that that you could do together?

[Purplewife]

Hi @cheersquad,

Sorry you are feeling frustrated and hurt. I find it especially tough when my partner doesn't respond emotionally to things the way I expect and it sounds like you may be feeling the same about your decision to start a family. I think that explaining why I feel certain things helps us (like 'I feel sad because normally we would decide on new furniture together and I feel excluded') because I think sometimes the anxiety prevents my partner empathising and explicitly stating it bridges that gap.
Sorry if you've already tried all this! Hope things get better for you soon.