Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Grifter]

Hi All,

Well, I joined this group today because I have no support from family or friends, because I come  from a dysfunctional family and I moved and chose not to stay in contact with anyone, but I only had work associates anyway, no real friends to speak of.

Anyway, after 7 years of going through many ups and downs with my partner, the downs reached a crescendo with him self harming (he has a physical disability too) after a 3 day bender and me calling an ambulance after he fell to the floor and knocked himself out. 

He was then told by the hospital that his prognosis due to alcohol damage to organs was quite poor and we were operating under the assumption that he was going to die. After picking him up and driving home, I got an email saying my employment has been terminated.

This just drained whatever fuel I had left in my compassion tank after being threatened, abused, ridiculed during many, many fights. I'm not without fault in this situation, I was physically and emotionally abused when I was a kid and I have a short fuse at times and my default positions are either fight (verbal) or flight.

We found after much nail biting, that he is physically fine, he was just super dehydrated from bender. 

However, he has recently been diagnosed with  possible bipolar disorder or intermittent explosive disorder, (IDK specifically which one yet or maybe it's both). 

I should be over the moon that we have a possible answer and that he is now taking medication and quite open to that. But after years of no support and feeling like his personal doormat, I've reached the end of my rope. I swing between feeling nothing, angry depressed and I just really want some time away from him, because everything feels like it is about him.

I'm sorry for being such a downer, but &%$!, I really need to blow off some steam. 

[greenpea]

@Grifter 🐇🤗

[amber22]

Hey there @Grifter 

Thank you so much for sharing what you are going through at the moment and your journey you have been through in your life. It sounds really challenging to navigate at points and I really appreciate you sharing how you are feeling and what you have experienced. I just wanted to say that you are not alone here on the forums, there are so many lovely members that are all here to support you. 

Are you currently seeing someone professionally to speak to? I see that you mentioned that you don't feel as though you can go to your family, and also don't have many friends that you can go to, so I am just wondering if you are able to speak to a mental health professional? We also have a drop-in line here at SANE if you ever needed to speak to someone on there: https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service 

Sitting with you,

Amber22

[Grifter]

Hi @amber22 . I am seeing someone, a really good therapist I've seen before. But I've only had one appt so far, meeting again next week, so it's early days. Grateful to have found this site too.🙂

[amber22]

Yay so grateful that you found the forums too, we're all here for you ❤️

Let me know how your appointment goes with your therapist.

All the best,

Amber22

@Grifter 

[tired_sisyphus]

@Grifter thanks for sharing. Sounds like an incredibly difficult few days for you. Especially so close to the holiday season too.

Hope your therapeutic relationship goes well. For me, work has been an issue since covid, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Some days I'm super motivated to find a solution; inevitably other days I just feel completely drained. And not even mentioning caring duties.

Wishing you the best.