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1dayatatime
Casual Contributor

My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Hello,

My husband has depreesion and anxiety, in January he told me had had fallen out of love with me and in February he tried to commit suicide. He has told me that the the ultimate outcome would be for us to be in love and together. (We have been together for 30 years)

He has essentially shut down all his feelings to cope with whatever is going on, he just doesn't want to feel, he says it's easier.  He also wants to be alone.

He also thinks that he may have just changed and that this is his new personality.

He is seeing a  psychologist and is waiting on his appointment to see the psychiatrist.

I am devasted and lost, I want to help him but don't know how.  I can see that he is trying, but his thoughts are so negative that he can't see a way out.

He is currently not on any medication (due to the suicide attempt) and is waiting to see the psychiatrist before he goes on any medication again.

Thanks for listening

9 REPLIES 9

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Hello @1dayatatime 

 

Relationships are challenging for our loved ones when they are unwell and depressed. Things are said that are later regretted, additionally some medications do cause emotional blunting.

 

It is so difficult when a psychiatric condition is acute and becomes potentially terminal.  I do hope your husband responds to the treatment offered (which can take a number of trials).

 

You are not alone, hold onto hope, things will likely be different as they are when our partners are diagnosed with any chronic condition, with the right help they can be managed. It is now 4 1/2 years since my husband had his last attempt.

 

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Thanks

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Hey there @1dayatatime

I'm sorry to hear what has happened recently, it sounds really devastating. I'm glad you're reaching out here. Do you also have any counselling or psychologist support at the moment? This sounds like a lot to process ๐ŸŒป 

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Hi you need to see a doctor to .you need someone to talk to to get you through this rocky road there is help just accept that we all change in life .

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Thanks Tortoishell, I am seeing someone also. We have also been seeing someone together, however, we have put a pause on this until after he sees the psychiatrist, as he is struggling with that at the moment.

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

Thanks Sharkcat, I a seeing someone also

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

@1dayatatime 

I found couples counseling is not a good idea when our partners are acute. 

 

These discussion threads may be of help to you (but often are more so when things have settled a bit)

Carers Hints and tips to Success 

8 dimensions of wellness 

 

Do you have any hobbies? There are a number of social discussions that I would be happy to tag you in.

 

Hint: if you put an @ symbol in, a drop down box will appear allowing you to select and 'tag' someone who will get notification that you have responded. You can also start typing a name that is not on the list to tag someone else.

 

 

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

@Former-MemberThanks, yes I have come realise that it was too much for him at the moment.

I will check out those links. 

I have become a bit caught up in all this, but am tryng really hard to do things also, I am doing restorative yoga, and exercising regularly, trying to get back into photography, just started with mediatation and a friend is about to teach me to knit.

Re: My Husband has Depression and Anxiety, and I don't know how to help him

I have tagged you in a few discussions, a couple are on the lived experience side (a few carers venture across, particularly for the more social threads).

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