Lived Experience Forum

[Neb]

Good stuff here, different perspectives! I love drumming too, listening not playing the drums like a chimpanzee. I don't know why but I love the didgeridoo, it resonates in my bones, I often get testy, stupid eh. Then there is the glottal throat singing, also resonates in the bone.

I never married or had kids, the RPGS in video land are simply a progression from the dice dungeon and dragon games I found comfort in when ill.

[JubileeJohnson]

I resonate too Neb! To low-frequencies. Not in my bones, or yes, maybe my bones, as in my soul. Right?

It will be 'music' that sets me off. I'll be listening to and/or watching a band and I start to resonate along.

It comes through my throat and has been quite disconcerning for other people around me.

Who should be listening to/watching the band play anyway. And especially not filming them on mobiles.

Be here now.

You must mean those chimpanzee toys that bash away at little cymbals. I hope.

+ I have testies too.

[Alessandra1992]

And there's a whole world of cosplay with people busy being mediaeval knights and anime characters. Love people watching in Ascot Vale when ComicCon is on..awesome costumes and people having fun...

[Uggbootdiva]

I "love" boring hypnotic games, my absolute fav is the questing jewel mania. When I am depressed it helps me feel like I am doing something (ha) and when I am manic it stops the obsessive thoughts for awhile...but dear god the amount of time spent on them is soooo bad.

[kristin]

Hi JJ,

You made me laugh "new-fangled X-pod things"! I love it - I will call them that from now on because it covers the range so beautifully!

I hear what you are saying. My kids think I'm a disgruntled old woman, especially my teenagers (I'm 51). And technically challenged to boot. My son is my "help desk", and now my 13yo daughter too when he's not around. They tell me how to fix my phone or pc ("here mum let me do it").

Drumming sounds good, and soothing. I like art and writing, or sitting out on a tree in the river if it's fine.

I am inclined to agree somewhat about hypnotic games. I do confess that I tend to play Heroes of Might & Magic III on my pc. It is considered very boring and old hat by my teenagers, and the graphics are relatively unhypnotic. One of the reasons I stick to it. I know I have a high tendency to get addicted to things, and hypnotic games would be a high risk - a bit like a good Hoover.

The thing is that I'm not "just" playing a game even though that's what it looks like. I actually use the game for two things i) calm me down a bit and keep my mind somewhat occupied, and ii) it allows my subconscious some space to consider possibilities without being overwhelmed by the internal "chatter" which can ramp right up to crowd status when I'm really triggered.

It helps me have the headspace to think strategically and consider options about things when I really need to, even if I am very triggered by whatever it is. I hope that makes sense?

Kind regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Hey UBD,

"but dear god the amount of time spent on them is soooo bad." Sooo relate to that one!

Much better than yelling at my kids, ending up in hospital, or spending money I don't have though!

Cheers,

Kristin

[Alessandra1992]

With ubd and JJ and Kristin..when does our gaming become too hypnotic? I have to own up that sewing machine has sat idle....whilst I have caught up with candy crush game..I find that I prefer no noise from the games I play, remind me too much of pokies...but it does divert my attention when required!

[Uggbootdiva]

I consider it addictive when it interferes with my life, ie. other things are not getting done.
Like kristin said it calms me down aNd give me a break from internal chatter so I guess at that point it is "hypnotic"
Look, we are not a terribly active family, if it's not the three (me and the kids) of us sitting around on "screens" then we are all sitting around reading. I still know more about computers than the kids, I guess that computer degree was worth something, though never used for computing!

[w1sdumb]

@Uggbootdiva alas, it's not the 'knowing about' that counts anymore - it's my job, I write programs/apps for a living, but its the 'using and the ability to get around in Instagram, Snapchat, fb, Spotify, Bittorrent that counts now, and I know some of it, more along the lines of knowing about than knowing how to use them. So unless you actually get your thumbs flying your computer degree is probably knowing your way around the museum. History doesn't feature anymore. It's all about the next best thing - they've learnt the lie we created the world to be. 

Enough philosophy. Games! I've had to learn a technique to counteract getting 'carsick' when playing modern games, first person 3D shooters, running down innumerable passages ducking diving and blasting whatever gets in my way. I've found however (bipolar) that my genre of games changes from phase to phase. My general stabiliser is Freecell - it's my chill pill. It's a nothing game that doesn't do my head in. Quake/Doom/Half-Life/Call Of Duty etc are great most of the time, altho the thinky games exhaust me at times, and liasing with team members is beyond me in a game - too much effort.

Interestingly, I find some games make me aggressive; yet when looking at how fast they make me approach aggressive, I can determine whether a 'manic' is approaching or if I'm just trying to delay a down. If in a fast period, still on the exhilerating side of a mania, I get a kick out of playing til 3am and still getting up for work in the morning, but I know I'm setting myself up for a HUGE crash, as if the frenetic activity is winding me up into the dysphoria side of the high, when I get agitated and I can't concentrate, and everyone gets me down. And everything tires me out.

And here lies the big problem. When I'm exhausted it's as if my 'morality button' gets switched off, and i act out all the bizarre ideas that occur to me that I would never do when 'stable'. And then I come out of it and I have to face the terrible disappointments of all the people I've offended, and the friends I've lost, and the strange friends I've made and the fines I have to pay and the list goes on. It's around about now that I decide I should stick to freecell.

So my big decision of today is should I get an XBox or a Playstation.

No, I never learn.

[Uggbootdiva]

@w1sdumb - totally agree re. the knowing about, but they don't have any accounts yet and I control their ipods (it's my account and I am not dumb enough to tell the the password or have my credit card attached) so good for another year until they hit highschool!!
TOTALLY hear everything you are saying! I'm bipolar too, and the staying up till 3am and heading for big crash etc.
I don't do roleplayer games (whole nother story) but when i'm manic I do feel a bit like I'm on quest, trawling through ebay or whatever. Spending hours playing dumb games (including freecell !!)
And yes, the consequences after are quite shit. with you there.
do they have minecraft on playstation? That is the only thing (besides Harry Potter ) that gets discussed by my girls!!