Fragile

[Appleblossom]

@tyme @rav3n @Dimity @Shaz51 @outlander 

Yesterday A neighbour told me she was going to a funeral for a young woman who killed herself. Offering condolences. It is a big problem for many people.

Being thoughtful and hoping those left behind cope alright.

[outlander]

im sorry to hear that @Appleblossom
that would be tough news to hear

[Appleblossom]

She was just beginning year 12. @outlander I am not sure what is going on in the schools, no point blaming overworked teachers, but they are often missing the mark.

A real young person. 

I am hearing so many stories.

You Bella, live the best life you can, according to your stars. Thanks for being you.

[Dimity]

Sending care to you @Appleblossom as you - as we all - mourn her loss. The ripples spread wide.

[rav3n]

sorry to hear about the young woman's death @Appleblossom it's never easy hearing stories like hers. sounds like a big wake-up call for the school/community, fingers crossed some positive changes can come from this to prevent stories like hers from repeating.

hope you're holding up okay.

[Appleblossom]

@rav3n Thanks 

I am doing alright but reflecting that my psychiatrist saying I had mixed state Bipolar can be an apt description of me.  I deal with both agitation anxiety and depression a lot during the same day.  

He did however get it very wrong when he said my son could cry!  Wrong enough for me to consider finding a new one but not without discussing it with him.  That is so far from the truth.

Anyway I am grateful to all the good things and moments in my life. I am still alive and trying my best each day. I cannot take rejections or misunderstandings from others as all about me. My demographic has truly been significantly impacted by socioeconomic disadvantage. Lots of people with lots of problems.

@Shaz51 @Dimity @outlander @tyme @PeppiPatty @greenpea @Dreamy @Sammy4  @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @Elizabethgrace_ @SillySausage @Glisten @Emelia8 @avant-garde 

our 2 new cats are giving lots of joy 

they are like teenagers now…. Jumping the fence and climbing the roof… lol…. I was worried the first time…. But they are doing things in a gradual fashion and building skills….lol

hope you all have a good day 

apple

[Glisten]

@Appleblossom said: “He did however get it very wrong when he said my son could cry!  Wrong enough for me to consider finding a new one but not without discussing it with him.  That is so far from the truth”

@Appleblossom I admire you so much for posting this!

Superhero status achieved 🏆

People who think they know better, have done so much damage in my life. Because I can’t find words to describe explaining or defend my myself adequately. I just shut down 😔 and assume that I must be wrong.

The fact that you can hold your ground and explain to a psychologist that they got it wrong, is the most wonderful thing that I can imagine doing for myself.

I can learn a LOT from you 💕

[Emelia8]

Your 2 cats sound a delight @Appleblossom 💕

I have never heard of mixed state bipolar. My brother in law has bipolar, and my good friends son has bipolar. So I have some limited personal experience with the disorder. I do know it's very difficult. So I reckon you do extremely well in managing things as you do. Hats off to you 🤩💕

[Appleblossom]

@Glisten Yes I had the same thing with putting psych professionals on a pedestal due to my needs and circumstances. They have had far too much power in my family… whatever modality they trained in… it seems to have been more destructive than healing…. In my current estimation. Eg I do have 3 coroners reports in my immediate family, the first dating from when I was 11, but I didn’t get the FOI file til I was about 30.

I submit to the current psych system as responsibly as I can. I have to as I am a parent. However I am a hell of a lot more educated and experienced now I am a lil ole laydee. I take it all with a heavy dose of pink Himalayan salt. 

I will decide if I stay with this shrink depending on his attitude. I suspect he will gloss over it, as his engagement is somewhat superficial. (I have learned a lot from the Mad Studies movement; eg learning to Flip the Script ). My son is so determined not to be a weak man or person, though he is a sensitive musician. 

@Emelia8 Thanks for your warmth and friendship over the years. Mixed States Bipolar is a so called type of Bipolar 2. Or I could be Schizoaffective, but probably not Schizophrenic, even though they called both my parents that name. Maybe I should just relegate it to name calling and not a scientifically absolute truth, which is the way I took it as til maybe last 20 years.

Just been doing the research and joining the dots for a long time.

Thanks for replying. It has been a lonely path, and forum friends life saving.

[Dimity]

Hello @Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Glisten 

Your cats sound delightful Apple... mutual adaptation and training no doubt in the human-feline sphere.

I prob identify with mixed state bipolar with an admixture of psychosis when most unwell. It's episodic and I was stably depressed for a couple of decades until my recent adventure.

My science training across both biological and physical sciences with information theory thrown in leave me comfortably respectful but sceptical of theory that's enumerative and descriptive with prescription by syndrome rather than through comprehensive theoretical understandings of cause effect and concomitant variations. 

Hats off to your son. I've had some deep conversations with a nephew who's aware, intelligent and trying to articulate his voyages of discovery. It's neither a smooth path nor a linear trajectory but perhaps I can help a little... several torch beams being better than one.