Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Helpless]

My son was diagnosed with SAD and is responding to treatment gradually, however he quite often recedes after several weeks. He lives alone due to a recent breakup and I feel absolutely helpless to the point I don't know how to help him or even if he needs my help. He has suicidal thoughts at times but they are limited. He works and his company are very understanding with regards to his illness, however I fear what will happen if he continues to take time off due to his illness. Like any Mom I would like to take his pain and suffering and make life easier but I know he has his life to lead and like all of us it maybe have some bumps along the way. How do I care for him without smothering him. how do I live with the fear of him suiciding.

[Archie]

Hi Helpless, welcome to the forum I am so glad you have found us.  I don't think you are at all helpless you sound like a very caring and supportive Mom who is trying her best to be helpful. It is great that he is able to work and that his company is very supportive of his MI however it appears he has a lot going on with the recent breakup of his relationship. You said he was responding to reatment gradually and I was wondering if he is seeing a GP or has a Mental Health Plan which the GP can organise.  It is apparent that he has spoken to you about his thoughts of suicide which is a step in the right direction because he trusts you to let you know how he is feeling.  There is a lot of support organisations out there for both your son and yourself as it is important that you look after yourself as well.  I have listed a few for you and you may also find some in your local area.

Immediate assistance
Police — 000
Local hospital

Telephone counselling
Lifeline — 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service — 1300 659 467
Salvo Careline — 1300 36 36 22
Kids Helpline — 1800 55 1800

The good thing about this forum there are a lot of supportive and caring people who understand and will share their experiences and stories so you don't feel alone.  Take care keep posting.  Archie

[Helpless]

Thanks for your response Archie. My son is under the guidance and treatment of a psych and sees them monthly or more if required. I tried searching for a few support places online for myself, however I thought this might be my best option at present.

I have researched his condition and think I understand it, however I don't know what elese I can do. I am concerned that due to his breakup and recent repeated time off at work he may lose his job and the damage that they may do to his self worth. I suppose when I type these concerns it enables me to express myself and also realise that there are a lot of issues that we have no control over and in fact they may not even happen.

Thank God for a private work office...here comes the flood of tears again 🙂 but also a sense of emotion release.

[-karma-]

Hi @Helpless 

I think what you're talking about could be best described as anxiety.

I notice you catch yourself realising this, 'some of these things are out of our control...', which is great, however I am concerned that this is still overwhelming for you.

Who's there for you?

What do you pull on to get through the more difficult times?

When's the last time you spoke to someone about your concerns/worries?

I'm glad you are finding the forum a useful tool to gain understanding about the situation, for me this is also true when I am saying it aloud to others.

In saying it clarity becomes apparent, and the next step forward exposes itself.

[Alessandra1992]

I am wondering if your son would consider calling MensLine? I have heard they are really great..it is hard not to worry when you're a mum as you want to take his pain away...Archie's given you some great resources and it is wonderful that he has opened up to you..going through a relationship breakup can be a really traumatic time for people but on the other hand, his work sound supportive and you can give him these numbers...maybe you can encourahe him very gently to meet up with some of his friends? Or trusted family members that he likes?
Sometimes it is just through keeping contact and being hopeful for him can really really be a great boost for him..
If you live close to him, maybe offer to take him to a peer support group like Grow..www.grow.org.au or groups run by other organisations, beyond blue or black dog institute may be able to point you to groups in his local area...