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Bluesky1
Casual Contributor

Bi-polar and support strategies for families

My Dad is challenged with Bipolar disorder -  has been for many many years.  My Mum is amazing to have managed many challenges that this presents their relationship.  We are seeing him sailing a manic high - have not seen this for many years.  He is exhausting at the moment...with lengthy text messages - wanting to be overly helpful with domestic jobs for my sister and I but in the end spending money we didn't want him to etc.  We need to learn more - want to attend a workshop or something for family members in SA.  Also want tips on how to manage response to his escalating texts, lies etc.  Any gentle comments around him needing slow down a little or consider us are only met with "Aren't I allowed to be active busy and out and about while I can!"  My general approach is picking my battles but when my hubby and I are suddenly getting barraged with text messages ...some of this is about money and needs to be managed to prevent unncecessary expenditure or unrealistic expectations...HELP!!!??

12 REPLIES 12

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

Hi @Bluesky1

I guess the big question relates to the responsibility your Dad takes in relation to his treatment and if he has a safety plan in place. 

 

If there is a safety plan, now is the time to activate it - sometimes this may mean some trustworthy mates go round and encourage Dad (and perhaps accompanying him to ensure attendance) to see pdoc.

 

If Dad has a case worker (public health) a phone call to them may be in order, letting them know what is happening. Even his private psychiatrist is able to receive information without breaching confidentiality. 

 

Familiarising yourself with your states mental health act might be wise if you feel an involuntary assessment may be necessary. 

 

If you google 'mental health carer support SA' you will find a number of organisations that provide this, some will give psych education. 

 

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

My mum is the same. Sporadic spending when she is manic, useless stuff and she thinks that she is helping. It's hard not to get angry. I ended up blocking the money in her account until she stabilised... may not work for you, may make him more manic.. But I sat her down and said that we really needed to manage the spending, only letting her access a set amount per week. It will only work if he cooperates, but worth a shot. 

Good luck! 

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

Hi @Bluesky1. It sounds like things are very challenging with your dad at the moment, especially as there seems to be a lot of pressure on you and your husband with all those text messages! Here are some links to websites that may be helpful.

 

Bipolar Caregivers

 

Bipolar Australia

 

I hope these links are helpful. Keep reaching out on the forums too - there are lots of very knowledgeable members on here who can help Smiley Happy

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

Hi @Bluesky1, just dopping in to see how everything's going? 

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

Thanks for asking... We are all ok thanks. Dad is still very busy at the moment... Am learning that the time to take more pro active steps will be when his mood stabilises... I think we all feel a bit helpless when he is this elated space... Especially if his actions are not terribly harmful.

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

Thanks so much... Will do some reading. Am taking Mum to a counselling session next week which I hope helps too...to give her more support as a caregiver.
I think we need to get in touch with the Psychiatrist to gain support for a plan that should be in place to manage as best we can ...all spectrums of the mood disorder. Just finding right now I don't know how to say "no you can't take my kids camping at moment"...as he is pedalling so fast I not sure he would be safe to mind them etc.. .or to say "hey can you let mum know where you are as she has no idea" ... Or "surely you don't have to buy a new car right now" .. or " you look tired please have a rest"... All these things feel sensitive and hard to tackle at this point..is this typical for carers of people with bipolar to feel this way....?.. I would love to know how others manage these kind of conservations/behaviours when they present in the manic state...

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

@Bluesky1

 

Is it typical to feel that the things you say are ignored = yes

Can a patient with mania reason or understand their behaviours are over the top = no

Having a plan is a great idea, getting the patient to stick to plan = can be difficult

After mania, possibility of deep depression = quite likely

 

I have only had to deal with hypomania which was bad enough, not as bad as full blown mania but still damaging.

 

A relapse prevention plan is a great idea but can go out the window with mania as the patient often cannot see they have a problem.  (Us family members wanting to put the dampener on things are the problem in their eyes).  These articles explain (the 2nd is American - the content of article is good but will put a disclaimer that the contacts etc do not apply to us in Oz)

.

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.health.qld.gov.au/__data/assets/...

 

https://www.dualdiagnosis.org/bipolar-disorder-and-addiction/intervention-for-manic-episode/

 

 

 

Some pdocs are reluctant to include families in care, others will providing consents are in place. They can receive information from you though without divulging confidential information so important to let pdoc know of mania if you cannot get Dad along to see them.

 

 

 

 

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

So helpful and supportive thanks

Re: Bi-polar and support strategies for families

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