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Looking after ourselves

Re: Where do I turn for help Caring full time for my Mother who is 83 and suffers from Osteoarthritis and Stomach Cancer? I need Help - NOW...

Thank you for your help!

 

I contacted the Hospital and was helped with a Dietician and Social Worker.

 

Thank you so much for your advice, and I sincerely apologise for not responding earlier.

 

Sadly Mum has now passed away, but your advice was timely and I acted on it immediately.  It was a life-saver.

 

Cheers Doreen xx

Re: Where do I turn for help Caring full time for my Mother who is 83 and suffers from Osteoarthritis and Stomach Cancer? I need Help - NOW...

Hi @Doreen , I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the news regarding your husband. It must be really tough to manage that grief and the fears/concerns with your husband's wellbeing. How are you coping with it all?

 

In terms of helping your husband, I personally do not have any answers. Do you have any professional supports in place for him?

 

Here with you.

Heart from cloudcore

Re: Where do I turn for help Caring full time for my Mother who is 83 and suffers from Osteoarthritis and Stomach Cancer? I need Help - NOW...

Hi cloudcore, thank you for your speedy response.  I am finding it increasingly difficult to care for my husband as he refused to attend his latest Drs appointment and will not talk about how he feels or his emotions.  He has a very good Specialist but that was the appointment he did not attend.  I want to assist him and help him in any way possible but it is difficult as he has a very short temper and will not discuss his feelings or ailments.

I am grateful that he allows me sometimes to attend his appointments with him, and this does give me some insight.

Kindest regards

Doreen x

Re: Where do I turn for help Caring full time for my Mother who is 83 and suffers from Osteoarthritis and Stomach Cancer? I need Help - NOW...

I have not sought very much help for myself, but I did mention my issues with my GP.

 

He has suggested doing a Mindfulness Course which I signed up to today.

 

I manage ok, but sometimes feel that life is just not worth living as I have no children or family left apart from an older sister who is recovering from an Aortic Dissection and she feels that her mental health has suffered permanently since the operation and ordeal she went under.  She stayed with me in my home for 6 weeks whilst she was recovering as she had nowhere else to turn to (she has no partner nor children) but has since turned her back on me since Mum passed away.  I am struggling to cope with this as she will not speak to me.  Mum lived with me for 12 years whilst she was unwell as my sister refused to help.  She has past issues that she has not dealt with and did not want to assist.

This makes it very difficult for me as I can no longer turn to her for help or a night away from my own home!

At times I figure that it is all too difficult and I do not want to go on.

My GP has prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety tablets which do help, but only intermittently.  Can you offer any assistance as it would be really appreciated?

Cheers Doreen

Re: Where do I turn for help Caring full time for my Mother who is 83 and suffers from Osteoarthritis and Stomach Cancer? I need Help - NOW...

@Doreen 

 

It can be really frustrating and confusing when we want to care for and support a loved one through such a difficult time, and they are distant and closed off. At least that was my experience with my father, has that been your experience too?

 

I can see how much you care for him and want to support him. It can be stressful knowing he is not ready to talk and accept that support. Are there ways you can look after yourself and manage that in this time?

 

In case you find it helpful, we have counsellors here at SANE that you can talk to on the phone or via webchat at the help centre. They're really great if you need some one to talk to today as I'll be hoping off soon.

 

Take care today,

Heart from cloudcore

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