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Looking after ourselves

Red78
New Contributor

Teenager with BPD

I’m so exhausted. I am a single parent of 5 children, 2 have moved out, my 3 youngest still live with me. My just turned 14 year old daughter has been receiving psychological assistance for over 12 months, she has borderline traits but not yet diagnosed due to age. It is such an exhausting battle getting anyone to listen to just how hard she is to live with. Temper tantrums, abuse, violence, aggression, self harm ,suicide attempts, drug use, risk taking, the list goes on. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me, I don’t have the energy to do anything yet I have to as there is no one else. My 11 year old daughter also has diagnosed, ASD, ADHD, ODD and anxiety. Everyday is tiring either working, taking children to appointments or phone calls from school, doctors or police. My poor 8 year old doesn’t know if she is coming or going with the amount of emotional dysregulation that takes place in our house. No body seems to understand just how horrible it is. 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Teenager with BPD

Dear @Red78 ,

 

Welcome to the forums. I certainly hear how frustrating and exhausting things are at the moment.

 

Are you children linked in with welfare supports through school?

 

Also, do you have supports in place for yourself, anyone you can talk to?

 

You are welcome to read more about people's experiences with BPD, including carers:

1) Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

2) Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT 

3) Topic Tuesday// Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Week 2022: 'See The Person'// Tues 27th Se... 

4) LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT 

 

There are others here who may wish to share their experiences with you @BPDSurvivor 

 

Re: Teenager with BPD

Hugs @Red78  - I’m wondering if you can find supports for yourself at this time? It sounds so hard.

 

As someone with Bpd, I know how drained you must be feeling - constantly walking on eggshells and waiting for the next explosion.

 

Unfortunately, your daughter is so young so you still have a duty of care. My main suggestion is boundary-setting. Be clear, fair and firm. And during an emotional meltdown, let her know you love her but need to walk away until she has calmed down.

 

Its hard for you, but I’m also mindful how hard it is on your daughter. Having BPD is like living hell on earth.

 

 Please take care

Re: Teenager with BPD

Hi Red,

I too have a daughter with suspected BPD. She is 14.  Her father also has BPD. I find it also very frustrating that this cannot be diagnosed at this age as it restricts treatment and assistance with possible NDIS support. 

My daughter has anxiety thus feels too anxious to take risks. However she throws tantrums, becomes depressed and stays up all through the night. She also sinks to lows and has self doubt and lack of self worth’s d school refusal. 

I find living with both my husband and daughter very stressful and distressing at times. I also feel exhausted.

im glad I read your story because I now don’t feel alone. 

Thank you for sharing. 

Re: Teenager with BPD

Hey @Red78, thank you so much for trusting us with your story. Reaching out for support in a new place can be really difficult. I hope you find our special community really supportive, and I can't wait to see you more around the forums ❤️ 

 

I can imagine our frustrating and maybe scary it can be when you are reaching out for support with your daughter, but feeling like nobody is hearing you. Especially when someone you love is struggling so much. And I can imagine just how exhausted you are, especially when you feel like your youngest daughter is unsettled about the situation. Do you feel like you're spread too thin? ❤️ 

 

I've been in a position with a very good friend before where they had similar experiences to your daughter. No matter what I tried, I felt like I wasn't able to reach them. For me, it was terrifying to leave them alone and not know if I would hear from them again. I'm not sure if being unsure scared for the future is similar to how you're feeling? 

 

I'm wondering what in this thread has been useful to you so far?

 

It sounds like you're mostly wanting someone to understand how you're feeling and how difficult it is? I thought I'd share some ideas below

Take care and lovely to e-meet you,

TuxedoCat

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