Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Carlachris]

@Scoo hi, it's been awhile since I have posted. We have been getting our entire lives back on track after a major 3 yr unmedicated complete selfish episode of MI. My husband finally collapsed and went back on meds. Hopefully never to be without them again. Basically we are too old now for all that happened. He is 68 I am 59
Looking back he has massive regrets and can see for himself the selfishness of MI and all that it took from us. In the end I had to beg for help and abandon him to the services before the mania that was destroying us could be contained. He is well now and I managed not to collapse but the exhaustion is still with me. 
Sometimes unfortunately it takes a crisis to start life on the right path again. And boy did we go through that door. 
I recently had pneumonia and spent 2 nights in hospital. Husband was completely lost but couldn't visit due to Covid rules. He realized a few things without me being his everything 24/7. It was like an awakening as to the destruction his MI had been causing. He has an illness and I don't blame him for anything but I will never allow myself to be taken to the brink of my own mental health again. Boundaries need to remain in place around the selfishness created by MI.
We are Picking up the pieces of the long haul and we didn't give up but were only one small step from total abandonment. Hindsight is such a difficult place to get too but definitely healing. Love has to be strong to survive. 
Hope you have weathered the storm that is your own physical health and the tears have stopped. I remember those days of endless crying Loneliness and surviving. I no longer cry everyday but have my moments. 
gentle hugs.