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Looking after ourselves

Re: Carers Hints and tips to Success

Thanks for tag @Shaz51!

 

Re: Carers Hints and tips to Success

 

e4e1055f-max_selfcare_infographic.jpg

@Serezza  , @Lookatthesea71@EmilyS@ExBPDParent@Scoo@Sophie1@Smc @Friend@Alianore@Susa@Krishna@Alicat@mooma@Iona @Bridget1 

 

Topic Tuesday is on tonight called 

Topic Tuesday // Self Care for Carers // Tues 20th July, 7:00-8:30PM AEST, click on to the link to see 

Re: Carers Hints and tips to Success

Thankyou @Shaz51. Can these still apply to me? I won't be a carer for much longer as my MI husband wants to heal without me. It hurts that he doesn't want me as part of his healing process, he's already chosen someone else who didn't go through those hard times but "makes him happy". I guess this says to me I'm not really deserving of happiness. There's no success for me, I'm already a failure. 

Re: Carers Hints and tips to Success

You are not a failure @Serezza 

And yes we still need self care for us xxx

Letting you know that you are not alone my friend 

@Faith-and-Hope 

Re: Carers Hints and tips to Success

Hi @Serezza and welcome to the forums 👋

 

I had a narcissistic husband.  There are distinct patterns to this particular MI that are identifiable - 'love bomb", devalue, discard.

 

Like a cat-and-mouse game they can keep you oscillating between the love-bomb and devalue stages, switching backwards and forwards between them, or supporting other people to devalue you (triangulation) and their primary damage is to destroy your self esteem ...... they drink of other people's distress, devotion, dependence, adoration and servitude.  They can suck you dry.  

 

They can also be very subtle about it for a very long time to keep the game going, but there is nothing subtle about the discard stage.   

Maybe speak to a counsellor and see whether this picture fits your situation, because if it does you will need support to regain your self-esteem and confidence.

 

Pile on the self-care Hon.  It's not selfish - which might be how you were made to feel - it's necessary, and it is a big part of the antidote to that sort of toxicity.

 

Take courage @Serezza.  You are not a failure.  You are enough ❣️  And we are here to help you find yourself again.

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