Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jess1111]

10 years of dealing with my bi-polar  / drug addict son. He is 38 the usual top of his class, talented etc. and downfall. I am doing this from another state.

I'm exhausted, financially broken, got him out of jail many times. Have lost family and friends - they don't understand. I am not feeling guilt, I was a great MUM. I just cant take the abuse its so violent and not what a Mum should hear. Its relentless no matter what. The list is exhaustive.

Today I shocked myself once again it is my fault he threatened to harm himself and I thought for a second I hope it happens I cant deal with this another second.

I feel so upset with myself because I just want it to be over I am suffering mentally physically and its just too much. I wrote here because I have no-one to turn to.

Sorry

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Jess1111,

My heart goes out to you and to your son. It is a really tough position to be in and it can be a lot being the main support person for someone that is really struggling with a serious mental health and drug issue. I also get it from your perspective. I have been pretty much the sole emotional carer for a close family member with a serious mental health issue for around 20 years. Fortunately things are a lot better for my family member now but it wasn't always easy and there were definitely some challenging times along the way.

Do you have some help or support for yourself? I really think you could do with speaking to someone that isn't involved in your situation that could be a support to you. I will attach a couple of organisation for carers here:

- Carers Australia 

- Carer Gateway 

The SANE Support Centre is also available to support you from 10am-10pm Monday to Friday. It is a free service and we have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 187 263) or webchat.

The SANE Guided services which is our new guided service that provides free digital and telehealth services and ongoing tailored support to people over 18 years of age with complex mental health needs and their families and carers SANE Guided Service is also something that may be helpful to you.

You and your son have gone through a lot and 10 years is a really long time to have navigated your way through this. Please don't be hard on yourself - what you have gone through and are going through is a lot and you also need kindness, understanding and support. I really believe until someone has walked a mile in someone else's shoes they can't possibly imagine how they would feel / respond in these types of situations.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather 

[Jess1111]

@FloatingFeather 

Thank you so much it is a nightmare.

I have taken down the numbers you suggested I certainly need someone to talk to.

[Krishna]

Hi @Jess1111  I hear you and feel for you. Similiar situation though daughter with schizophrenia and drug issues. I haven’t copped any abuse for a long time now but these days mainly feel like an ATM machine. Estranged from us for coming into 4 years and although I miss her deeply, she is no longer the daughter I once had and yes I too was and am a great mum. Despite the heartache of not seeing her, there has been peace in our home after so many years of chaos. There comes a time when you have to say enough is enough especially when it is impacting so much on your own physical and mental well-being. I’m still seeing a psychologist.We have simply done all that we could physically do but was never enough. In the long run, it is their path to walk or drag themselves along. Please take good care of you.