I read the articles Cherrybomb who created this topic thread shared on here about signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships etc. I found this very helpful.
As a carer of my daughter who is diagnoised with borderline personality disorder and bi-polar, who is now living with me again - I found the article from the National Alliance on Mental Illness on "Maintaining healthy relationships" particularly helpful. The advice given by them for Carers of loved ones with mental illness to maintain a healthy relationship were:-
1. Don't buy into stigma - learn to separate the person from the illness. The person is not their illness.
2. Understanding confusing behaviour - some of their behaviour is part of their illness and there can be a need to accommodate this but this does not excuse cruel, aggressive or violent behaviour.
3. See opportunities for Improvement - working on behaviours - I.e. Agreeing to work on better, open communication
4. Get support from other people - you and your loved one will cope better with an expanded support system. Including strengthing connections with family and friends
5. Expect decent behaviour - making sure the loved knows we see them as a whole person and knows you expect them to live to standards where you can live with each other well with mutual respect and safety. (Setting boundaries)
6. See things from the others perspective - learn as much as we can about the mental illness.
7. Learn to communicate effectively - especially important when mental illness is in the mix
8. Use simple, direct and clear language of what you want and why - I.e. could you join me for a walk as I like the company (as opposed to "you never spend time with me").
I found this article interesting in caring and from the perspective of also having suffered a mental breakdown in the past.
